Thank God for Leah

My hands are still trembling making this post quite hard to type, but I going to continue in honor of Leah and her selfless courage.  I met some moms at the Coralville Park for a playdate and picnic lunch this afternoon. We thought what better way to celebrate the first truly nice day of spring than with a picnic?  Apparently this was every other moms thought as well because the park was packed.  We were all just sort of getting there, trying to say hi and chit chat while keeping an eye on our kids running like mad through the playground.  I went to check on Graham, who is now completely obsessed with going down the big, "twisty" slide, when I saw Leah frantically asking other moms about a little boy in a yellow t-shirt.  As I looked over to where she was pointing I saw this little boy running full speed straight for the duck pond.  My heart just stopped.... surely he will stop.... surely his mom will scream his name and he will turn around... but nothing happened, he just kept running. 

Without a thought Leah kicked off her sandals and began sprinting down the hill after the little boy.  I was still frozen, but I managed to yell "does anyone have a little boy in a yellow t-shirt" and the elderly daycare lady (or maybe his grandma) I had seen walking down the street with 5 kids popped her head out from behind the slide.  I turned around just in time to see the little boys head disappear down the slope into the water.  I panicked and began running as fast as a could after Leah. 

I have no idea what thoughts were running through Leah's head at the time, but she never hesitated, she jumped right into the water and grabbed that little boy who was flailing face down in the water.  I got to the edge as she pulled him up sputtering and screaming bloody murder.  Leah was standing in thigh deep water, that little boy would never have had a chance.  I pulled him out and another mom and I stripped his soaking wet and freezing cloths off as the elderly lady finally arrived.  I expected her to give him a huge hug and be in tears of joy and thanks... but no, she kind of yelled at him.  Told him he was bad for running away and to stop crying for his mommy.  Really?  This little boy was still in diapers, he's terrified and freezing and doesn't know any of the rest of us from a hill of beans and you scold him.  I get what he did was wrong, but really, he couldn't have been more than two.

I just keep playing the scene over and over in my mind and thanking God that he is alright.  What if Leah hadn't seen the little boy running, what if she hadn't gone after him... I can't even imagine the outcome.  That's somebody's baby boy and Leah saved his life today.  I am so proud and honored to be Leah's friend.  Her selfless courage, her natural 'mom' instincts, and just her God given willingness to help others has me in tears.  If Leah was not at the park today... I can't even finish.  Thank you Leah for being an amazing mom, and amazing friend and an amazing woman!  God truly shows us his power through the actions of others. 

I had tears in my eyes the whole way home from the park as I looked in the rear view mirror at Graham sleeping so peacefully in his car seat.  I could hardly put him in his bed when we got home, I just wanted to hold him forever.  Thank you God for always watching over my family and keeping them safe.  And thank you for giving me such wonderful friends!

Update to the Shoe Fiasco

The Heart Gala was last Saturday, and as you may have read I was having quite the shoe fiasco.  I bought a super cute dress with which sage/ light green/ lime shoes would have looked awesome.  After searching every local shoe store, I ordered shoes online from Zappos.com.... and I hated them  :(

In Zappos defence, the shoes were the size I ordered, the shipping was free and they were delivered within the 3-4 days as promised.  But when I opened the box I found that the shoes were really a more odd yellow than lime green, which didn't really match, and I probably could have used a half a size smaller.  Even with those changes, they were just not all that I had hoped for.  So in sheer desperation, I.... just bought a different dress.



Which in the end probably worked out better anyway.  The dress was on sale, I already had shoes to match and to top it off, I found out the theme of the Gala was "A Black and Gold Evening" so my dress was a hit!  The Gala was super fun this year.  Tim did a great job as Co-Chair of the event, lots of younger couples we knew came and we even got to go out afterward to watch the UNI game (not so great ending to that, but you can't win them all).  So now the question is, do I return the other dress, which I still really love, or do I continue to search for shoes in hopes to be able to wear it to a wedding or something in the future?  Oh the drama...

New Do

In honor of this week's forecast being nice and warm we got Graham's hair cut.  Usually I just have them trim it up a little and cut around his ears, but this time I decided to go with the official "little boy's hair cut." 

[caption id="attachment_168" align="aligncenter" width="470" caption="Uh Oh, mom caught be in the tub."][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_169" align="aligncenter" width="470" caption="Taking a bath after our hair cut!"][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_171" align="aligncenter" width="470" caption="Say Cheese!"][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_170" align="aligncenter" width="470" caption="All spiffed up and ready for church."][/caption]

 

The hair stylist put gel in his hair and spiked it all up, but Graham didn't like it.  He said it looked scary, poor kid  :(  So she just made it look 'messy' and he thought that was way better.  "I like the messy," he kept saying.  She also gave him a sucker to which he yelled "Mom I didn't cry and I got candy"  about 10 times jumping up and down.  All and all, I think the hair cut was a success.  He looks so darn cute, it just doesn't look like Graham to me.  He look so grown up.  Time is flying by way too fast!

Un-Doing 3 Years of Dog in One Afternoon

For the last year I have been telling Tim we need to replace the carpet in our house because it was trashed.  Before we had Graham we had 2 dogs, one of which was a rescued Australian Shepard (Brinkley).  Brinkley was a very loving dog, but due to conditions in his life before living with us, he had some "issues" we'll call it.  The poor dog was terrified of EVERYTHING, men, cars, loud noises, flashing lights, you name it and the dog had some phobia about it.  So Brinkley clung to me like glue, all the time.  And when he wasn't clinging to me, he was hiding in our master bathroom panting due to something that must have scared him?  The poor guy just loved me to death.  Tim, well he loved Tim a little because Tim fed him and took him for walks/ to the dog park, but outside of that, Brinkley was truly a mama's boy... until we had Graham  :(

Brinkley still loved me when I came home from he hospital.  He missed me and was really interested in seeing and sniffing on Graham, until he cried... it was all over from there!  As soon as Graham opened his mouth and tha first cry came out Brinkley bolted out of sight and because Graham was with me almost all the time, Brinkley was completely lost.  How could I be his protector if I was with that crying 'thing' all the time?  So for 3 months Brinkley did one of 3 things: he hid in the bathroom (why he felt safe there no one knows),  he went out in the backyard and wouldn't come in (this was wonderful of course because Graham was born in January and we had like 3 feet of snow in the backyard, everyone loves dragging an 80lb dog through knee deep snow to get him to come in), or he threw up EVERYWHERE!  He was so nervous about the baby and the baby swing and the baby monitor or baby toys that he just couldn't take it and he threw up  :(  Emma, either out of sympathy for Brinkley or because she herself is somewhat neurotic, also took to this throwing up.  So between Brinkley, Emma and Graham, who was the world's most projectile vomiting baby ever, my carpet literally was destroyed... or so I thought.

Tim really wasn't pumped about spending the money to put in new carpeting, so I finally convinced him a good professional carpet cleaning might do the job.  Oh do I love professional carpet cleaning!  On Monday I called a Cleanup business some friends of ours own and asked for an appointment.  Today at 1:00, Greg came to clean my carpets.  Greg, I was so excited at what an excellent job you did I almost hugged you, but I thought it might be inappropriate seeing as we just met.  My carpets look brand new, woo hoo!  :)  No mo dog puke, no more formula stains, it was like magic... well except for poor Greg was here for close to 2 hours trying to get that 'magic' to work, poor guy had no idea what he was getting himself into.  Needless to say I am more than thrilled with my newly cleaned house.  Now I just need to figure out how to keep it clean.  Maybe Graham, Tim and Emma will just need to start living outside... the weather is getting nicer  ;)

Natural Born Leader

I have thought about going back to work part-time or one day a week many times since Graham was born.  For a long while I felt like this desire to work again made me a bad mom.  Why would anyone who is given the chance to stay home and not work ever want to go back, unless it was because you didn't like being a mom, right?  Wrong!  Being a stay at home mom has endless perks, being able to see your child grow and learn, being the one to teach and play with him, and being there to give love and support at an hour of the day.  At the same time, staying at home does have some downfalls, such as being alone all day, and for a person who thrives on adult interaction, this one downfall was almost a deal breaker.

As Graham has gotten older, this downfall has become less and less of an issue because we are able to be more involved.  We have music classes and MOPS, kidercise or tumble tots and moms groups, so we are constantly meeting up with other people/ kids for playdates etc.  I have met tons of great moms and have made many wonderful new friends who I cherish.  I can vent to these moms, I can ask advice, tell stories and just chit chat about all the crazy mom stuff, and they know exactly what I am talking about because they live and breathe it everyday.  So now that my need for adult interaction is met, why, ever so often, do I still feel this urge to get a job? 

I think it boils down to what Tim calls "being a natural born leader."  He says I love to lead things, and you don't have to tell him this, but he's right.  I love it!  I love planning and preparing, I love having meetings about topics outside of potty training and making babies.  It's the thrill of the event coming together and the satisfaction of knowing I pulled it off.  It's like some crazy business 'high' I get from leading.  I know, I know, I'm a nerd, but I admit that outright  :)  And no matter how much I try to be the leader of the household, there is only so much 'leading' that can be done over laundry, dishes, cleaning and caring for children.  I get little 'highs' now and then when Graham learns something new or has a whole day without an accident, but those are really his accomplishments.  I tried becoming the 'leader' of the calendar and our schedule, but Tim's work activities quickly won that battle.  I just want need more.

Having taken Tim's advice (wow that's two for Tim in one blog) I have started getting more engaged.  To begin with, I am going to co-direct VBS at our church this summer.  I figured it was a small step I could use as trial to make sure my skills aren't too shabby after 2 years off.  With any luck, things will go smoothly and hopefully this fall I can take on some other leadership roles with church, maybe MOPS or volunteering.  Here's to the re-birth of the leader in me!

The Search was On

Tim and I are going to the Iowa City Heart Gala next Friday and since Tim is the Co-Chair of the Gala this year, I thought a new dress might be in order... yeah!  I, of course, totally procrastinated because I had no intention of taking Graham on this excursion, not to mention this is one of those semi-formal/ business casual deals were no one really knows the correct dress code.  So I finally made myself go on Saturday, I mean why not, it had snowed and was cold and I only had 6 days until the Gala, it seemed like the appropriate timing  :) 

I found a great dress at Von Maur that not only would work for the Gala, but would also work for a wedding I have to go to next month, double plus!  Here's the deal: the dress really needs cream or lime green shoes to go with it.  No problem right?  WRONG!  Apparently lime green is not an "in" color this spring and therefore lime green shoes are no where to be found and by no where I mean I checked every store that might have sold shoes in all of Iowa City and Cedar Rapids and I found one ugly pair, not in my size  :(  So I could have resorted to cream shoes, but for some reason I just don't like hate cream shoes.  They just don't do it for me at all, plus part of the allure of the dress was that green shoes would have looked awesome!

After 2 days of complete local shopping failure I resorted to the internet.  Wow, hundreds of green shoes to choose from, very few in lime green.  So here is what I ended up with:

They are not totally my favorite and I was hoping for something with a little more heal, but when you are looking at really slim pickens, I don't think these are a horrible option.  Now we just have to pray that they will be shipped to my house in time for the Gala to Friday.  Here's to having faith in the US Postal Service!

Odd Neighbors

I truly believe everyone has odd neighbors or at least that one guy who you just honestly wonder about.  But I would have to say, and I know some of my neighbors, Amy,would totally have to agree, our neighborhood has an over abundance of oddness!

For instance there is our neighbor kitty-corner across the street, "crazy cat lady and family."  These neighbors have who knows how many cats and their cats are indoor/ outdoor cats.  Not that odd except for her cats, who they let out, keep getting 'lost.'  So she runs over has ringing my doorbell all in a tizzy b/c  "X" cat can't be found.  Lady, write this down, if you want to know where your cats are at all times, don't freakin' let them outside to run around.  And in the same breath she is asking about her missing cat, she insists on putting in a little plug about how her daughter just loves kids and really wants to babysit Graham and how she would come with her daughter to make sure she did a good job etc.  Really lady, you can't even keep track of cats.  What makes you think I am going to let you watch my child or even into my house for that matter?  If this were a one time occurence you could let it slide, but upwards of 6 times is strikingly odd!

Now we also have our neighbors to the left, "The Hermits."  They never, ever, ever come outside.  NEVER.  They have an 18 month old, baby Hermit, and I'm pretty sure with the exception of the ride to and from daycare that that poor kid never sees the light of day.  They never open any of their blinds, they close the garage door before getting out of the car and the only time I ever see anyone outside is on the rare occasion that the lawn gets mowed, so maybe 6 times a summer.  Really, I know nothing about these neighbors, not names, dog's name, nothing and we have lived here 3 years.   And attempting to say hi is a waste of breath as a head nod is your most likely response.  How antisocial can you be?  I am your neighbor, not an ax murderer.  After several failed attempts to make contact, I have since moved on to my newest odd neighbor: Mr. Garage Stander

Again, this guy poses absolutely no threat, he just strikes me as odd.  Mr. Garage Stander lives in the one duplex I can see directly out my kitchen window.  If this were not the case, I would probably have never noticed him, but every time I open the blinds, wash my hands, rinse a dish or really do anything in the kitchen, I can see right into his garage.  And there he is, Mr. Garage Stander, standing in his garage, ALWAYS.  Literally, I have seen this man at 6:30am, noon, 2 in the afternoon, 11pm and even once at 1am,  just standing in his garage, smokin' a cig.  I get that a guys got to have a cig now and then, and the fact that he doesn't smoke inside I add as a plus to his character, but at all hours of the day?  When does he work?  When does he sleep?  To add to this mystery, Mr. Garage Stander's attire is beyond bazaar.  There is the occasional pair of jeans, but his usual attire consists of blue flannel pajama pants, with I can only guess to be giant polar bears all over them, a white t-shirt, a plaid, flannel coat and slippers.  As if the man is eternally in a state of sleep, only waking up to have a cig and then quickly returning to bed.  Mr. Garage Stander has several dogs, 4 I think and at least one dog, but no more than 2, must accompany him on his cig excursion at all times.  These dogs are very well trained.  Like him, they never leave the garage and they just stare out towards the road as in a trance. 

Since the weather has gotten nicer and Graham and I have been spending more time in the back yard, I have studied Mr. Garage Stander a little more.  It seems that almost every other time he is out, he is on his cell phone.  The conversation can't be very exciting as I never hear him raise his voice nor does he really even move.  He still just stares into the street and the only reason I know he's on the phone is he is holding it to his ear.  Maybe he works from home taking inbound calls?  Who knows, but I kind of like the mystery, so no sence in spoiling the fun by walking over to say hello  :)

So those are my odd neighbors, or at least the ones I have met/ seen so far.  I'm sure there are many more, I just need to be patient.  I am going to add the note that:  all I have written in this post was nothing more than fun.  I don't hold any grudges, dislike or hard feelings towards any of my neighbors!  I'm almost certain that each of these people's blogs include posts about me, the crazy lady who is always chasing her kid and dog around the neighborhood, or at least I hope they would  :)

Moms Never Win!

Graham has been out to dinner about 97 million times since he has been born.  It's not really healthy, it's just the nature of how our family functions and I've learned to accept it.  By now I am pretty accustomed to the restaurant routine... We sit down, I immediately pick up the menu and pick something for Graham to eat.  This way when we order drinks,  and crayons of course, we can get his dinner started.  In the 30 seconds I am glancing at the menu Graham proceeds to do this: touch the ketchup, spill the salt, take all the sugar packets out, unwrap all the silverware and beat them on the table, spill the pepper, touch squirt the mustard and  mess with any other condiment left, thow the sugar packets on the floor... it's just ridiculous! 

No matter how many times we talk about manners or about not touching/ opening/ spilling everything on the table, it comes down to the fact that he's 2 and apparently this is just what he's going to do.  I can't stop it and trying just ruins the whole dinner experience. So last night was really no different.  We went to Red's Ale House in North Liberty.  We sat down and Graham began his usually screwing around and we ordered drinks and his meal.  No sooner did we order and Graham decided to touch the light bulb on the lamp in out booth... game over!  He burnt his poor little finger to a crisp and no matter what we gave him, he just kept screaming.  So my date night/ dinner out became getting our meal to go and all three of us eating it at Graham's Little Tikes table in the living room while watching Horton Hears a Who for the nine millionth time.  (It was the only way to make him stop wailing!) 

So after dinner we began talking about what we learned from this whole fiasco.  About how we shouldn't play around at the dinner table and never, never, never touch the lamp etc.  All he got was don't go near any lamps, which means he is now terrified of the lamp in his room.  Great, now we don't want to sleep in out room thanks to the scary lamp.  Moms never win, just write it down!

Just when you think there can be no downside

I used to think there could never be a down side to spring.  It's warmer, no coats, hats, and little mittens to get on.  The snow melts and things start to clean up a little, with less sand and crap to drag in the house.  The sun comes out and everything/ everyone just seems more lively in the spring.  Really, how could there be a downside? 

Well this spring I found it... dog poop!  And I don't mean like of I have to pick up some dog poop from the back yard like I do on a weekly basis, I mean an endless pit of dog poop that has consumed our entire backyard from November until now.  I don't think there is a square inch of grass in our yard that isn't covered  :(  So for the last week I have spent about an hour a day chipping away at this horrendous mess in hopes that someday Graham can again play in our yard without getting covered in crap.  (No one likes to have to hose off their shoes every time they go outside!)  But honestly, I'm not sure I am even making a dent.  The yard is still covered and Emma is not helping matters, as she seems to think that every time I go out to pick some up, that she must leave some more for another day... ugg! 

How did I not notice this in years past?  Did my dog not poop this much before?  Was winter shorter of something?  I think we must have just waited long enough that the rain washed some of it away and we could rake the rest when we started on the fertilizer etc.  But Graham is older this spring and the poor kid wants to play on the swing set, so I am off to once again attempt to clean up the back yard.  Emma, I am declaring this a poop free zone, so hold it until our walk or else!  :)

Bronzed Seniorita

I have never been one of those 'I must be tan all year round' people, but I will admit that I have gone "tanning" before.  I usually went before a spring break trip or in late spring before I broke out the shorts for the season. After all, I was really tanning for others right?  It would have just been a crime to blind poor, innocent bystanders with the paleness of my skin!  Right?  :)

Well after college I decided enough was enough and I gave up the 'fake bake' if you will, in hopes to save my skin for use later in life.  But now I am stuck with looking like the ghost of Christmas Present each winter and I'm not a big fan.  So two winters ago I gave the old spray on tan a whirl... not good!  My skin looked more orange than 'bronzed' and the color only really stayed in certain places like my elbows, knees and wrists... FOREVER!  I think I had orange knees until nearly July.  It was awful, never again!  So last summer I opted to try the self tanning lotions.  I was fairly pleased but I hated the smell.  I don't know what they put in those things, but they smell just horrible.  So what's a girl to do about this paleness dilemma?

Out of pure desperation, I decided to give sunless, self-tanning lotion another try this spring.  I did some online researching and tried to "test" out a few in Wal-Mart to make sure they smelled OK.  I settled on this:

Nivea' Sun-Kissed Beautiful Legs Lotion.  It's supposed to be one of those lotions that keep your legs soft and allow you to shave less, I figured that was bonus.  I was a little nervous that the packaging focused so much on the legs, so can you use it on your face and anywhere or only on your legs?  I didn't find anything that said for legs only, so I just applied it everywhere and figured what the heck.  It's great!  It doesn't smell bad, it doesn't turn your skin orange, as long as you rub it in thoroughly and most of all it works.  I am by no means tan, but at least my skin is no longer blinding and I feel like I can go to the gym or outside in short sleeves and not injure others.  So if you are looking for an inexpensive way to 'get a little sun' before summer, I would recommend Nivea!

Seriously, What Does a Girl Need to Do...

So I get it, I have Crohn's Disease, have for 11+ years now!  Which, that being said, means that on any given day, for no apparent reason at all, my stomach/ ab area is going to swell and make me look slightly pregnant.  I get that, accept it and have moved on... until recently! 

I diet and watch what I eat, I work out 5-6 days a week, 5-6 freakin' days, I'd say that's a decent work out effort wouldn't you?  But in the last 2.5 months I have been asked 6 times "if I am expecting" or "when I am due" at the gym.  Really people, 6 times?  I haven't been asked 6 times in 11 years, even when I was pregnant!  :)  And usually when I am I asked, I try to find some sort of humor in the situation and just laugh it off, but when the question sparks 10 people in the locker room to immediately glare at my stomach... it's just too awkward!  I mean what do you say?  :)

Do you try to make the person asking feel better by making up some sort of excuse, because by now they are clearly embarrassed?  But why should I do that, they are the ass who asked you in the first place.   :)  Do you just ignore the comment all together like you didn't hear it?  Do you just laugh and say no and walk away?  After pondering the issue a bit, I truly believe the appropriate response is "F-Off" or at least in this case when I had just completed bodypump and ran 2.5 miles, but even I am not that brave.  So, I am just at a loss... how do you answer that question WHEN YOU ARE NOT PREGNANT? 

And really, why would you ever, ever, ever ask someone that question in the first place?  I mean just save yourself the trouble of looking like an ass, it's just embarrassing for everyone, including the poor, innocent by-standers in the room who want to crawl into a hole just to get away from the situation.  :)  I promise you, unless you are giving birth to a child in my presence or you have personally told me that you are expecting, I will never ask you "when you are due!"  Ahh, just shake your head and laugh... that's all anyone can do!  Hope my fabulously blessed life made you smile!  :)

* I almost forgot... on an upside, Graham actually told the gym daycare lady he had to go potty AND he went!  WooHoo, at least the trip wasn't a total loss!

To Buy or Not to Buy?

It's that time of year again and again the debate is on... do we buy Hawkeye Football season tickets or not?  Of course your gut reaction is YES, you always buy Hawkeye Football tickets anytime the opportunity presents itself.  And while this is my reaction every year, I have yet to bring myself, or rather Tim's self, to actually buy a whole season.  When we were students there was no question, in fact we would wait by the computer until midnight the morning they went on sale just in case there was some ticket 'shortage' or something that year.  But now that we are "Alumni," as you'd say, this is quite the financial decision we are talking about.  For Tim and I to buy 2 season tickets would cost $720.  Those would most likely be the worst tickets available, so if we'd like better seating, we'd have to start looking into donation options.  So we are looking at $1500 to $2000 for decent seats to every home game (7 games).  Then you start to add in the cost of sitters to watch Graham and the money spent on tailgating food and equipment, we are talking a big chunk of change here.

I love Hawkeye Football and all it entails with all my heart, but do you know all the things we could do with that kind of money?  So the frugalista in my struggles.  The last few years we have been getting tickets game by game.  Sometimes there are tickets through the City Chamber or other things Tim belongs to, sometimes we are given tickets or we end up just buying on craig's list etc.  It's much cheaper, as there is always someone looking to get rid of tickets... but no one wants to be that guy, the guy who is always looking for tickets, forever!  So we are back to our original dilemma, should we buy tickets or not?  Ugg, I just can't decide or think about it anymore... let's just bring on the football season already!



I mean really, how can you say no to that?

Happy Birthday to the best dog you could ask for!

Today is Emma's 5th birthday!  Happy Birthday Emma.  You might be the most licky, co-dependent dog anyone has ever owned, but I love you with all my heart.  In five years I have learned that for the most part, you think you are a weenier dog, if anyone touches a door knob you had been be prepared because Emma will trample you in an attempt to get outside first only to turn around and immediately look at you like 'now what?' and you have the most ridiculous obsession with the chuck-it anyone has ever seen.  But, you were my first baby and I love you all the same.  It's you little idiosyncrasies that make you MY dog  :)  Here's to many more doggy years!

Re-Evaluating Priorities

With all this "baby crazy" going on in my life lately I feel maybe my priorities have gotten a bit skewed  :(  I began 2010 wanting to do some things for myself, as I felt I had spent almost all of the last 3 years doing things for Graham and Tim and work and never really taking time to myself.  But 2 months into 2010 and I am starting to think that maybe I've taken things a bit overboard.

I've taken some time this past week to do some "meditating" if you will, on my life and you know what I realized?  I already have the most perfect little boy anyone could ever ask for.  God has already blessed me just by giving me the opportunity to be a mom and even more, he has given me a wonderful husband who supports me so I can stay home to take can of him. 

I have spent so much time lately worrying about trying to get pregnant or why it is that I can't get pregnant again that I've almost forgotten what happens when you do get pregnant... you get to be a mom!  I am a mom and I really need to remember that.  Of course I know that I am a mom, I mean I'm still with Graham 24-7, but am I really remembering what it means to be a mom?  Like taking the time to laugh and play and hug, taking the time to teach and pray, taking the time to enjoy all that I have already been given!  It's unfortunate that sometimes you get so caught up with life and all it's struggles that you forget the important stuff.  So even if I'm only ever able to have one baby, I just need to remember: I am already the luckiest person just to have Graham and be a mom!

The Kid Must be Growing

Graham must be growing, either that or he has been taken over by aliens and is no longer my child.  This week Graham has been just a basket case.  He's totally fine one moment and then next he is falling apart and is completely inconsolable.  It usually starts with him not getting his way or being told "no" and ends with him hysterically bawling.  This fit lasted for over a half an hour on Wednesday.  Finally, after failing at all other attempts to make this stop, I gave up and put him down for a nap, at 10am!  (He usually naps about 1-3pm)

Again yesterday, we got home from Kidercise, where he actually listened and paid attention to the teacher for once, he wanted to sit in the front seat of the car.  I let him for a few minutes, but after touching every button, knob and light in the car and emptying the glove compartment I had had enough, so I said time to go in the house.  He lost it, completely freaked, to the point I told him he had to go get in his bed for a nap (10:10am), to which he usually cries even harder and screams "I no need a nap!"  Today he looked right at me, stopped crying and said "I go to bed myself mom," and he went upstairs and got in his bed.  He proceeded to take a 4 hour nap.  Don't get me wrong, this is fabulous for me, but it's just totally not normal.

On the positive side, Graham has actually started eating lately.  I know, I know all kids eat right?  Not my kid, he will go days on a slice of cheese and a couple crackers.  He's just been a horrible eater ever since we switched to solid foods, but this week, the kid is eating everything in sight.  He'll even tell me what he wants for lunch/ dinner.  Plus, even after a 4 hour nap, he will go to bed and stay put at night.  I expected a huge battle, but apparently he's just super tired because we tuck him and never hear a peep from him again... well until 6:45am when he begins trashing the house all over again  :)  So does he looks bigger to you?

Nice underoos huh?  :)

Bring on the Caffeine

Due to various reasons, I have never been an avid coffee drinker.  First of all, it used to drive my stomach nuts.  I'm now starting to believe that had more to do with the 'battery acid' they served as coffee where I used to work than actual coffee itself, but I suppose that's still up for debate.  Second, I've always been able to substitute Mt. Dew for coffee any time I needed a caffeine pick me up.  Well, I don't like HATE Diet Mt. Dew and the 9 million calories in the regular stuff really doesn't do my diet any justice, so that's out.  And third, there is always the "caffeine is not recommended during pregnancy" bit.  And no, I'm not pregnant, but I figured better to be overly safe than sorry, right?  So needless to say with the exception of a rare Sunday morning Joe, when we got up way too early and I didn't want to look too sleepy in church for fear of looking rude, I just don't drink coffee.

So why start the caffeine now when so many people are struggling to stop the addiction?  You can write this down or in stone or where ever because I don't see it ever changing:  I AM JUST NOT A MORNING PERSON!  I can function in the morning, get up, get ready or get Graham some breakfast etc, but I can't jump out of bed and tear after Graham at tornado speed at 6:45am.  And I find that I spend the majority of the morning disciplining/ scolding/ yelling at Graham partially due to the fact that I am just not awake yet... and of course partially due to the fact that he is just plain sassy almost every hour of the day.  

Anyway, after all my baby, or lack there of, drama last week,  I have been doing some major reevaluating and I have decided that one cup of coffee every morning is not going to completely abolish my chances of getting pregnant, nor is it going to harm a baby, given I do actually get pregnant some day.  So in the spirit of not wanting to be a complete rag every morning, I am going to try having one cup of coffee every morning in hopes that my "I'm not a morning person"self can try to be a little more pleasant!

Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks

Last month I joined a book club... which if you know me I'm sure you're thinking, Kate doesn't read.  Well I mean I read: People Magazine, Dr. Seuss and other kids books to Graham, but I haven't read, read, like for fun since, well, ever!  Outside of mandatory school reading and required text reading in college, I have read less than a handful of books, Marley and Me, Tuesdays with Morrie, I was a great mom before I had kids and Nanny Diaries... don't get me wrong, they were all great books, but I just didn't find myself 'wanting' to read.  But 2010 is a new year and a year in which I am trying to do new things, especially for myself, so I thought, "what the heck:" book club here I come. 

*Let's preface the last sentence with saying the club is really just a group of my mom friends who pick a book to read each month and then get together to gab and drink wine, hardly ever mentioning the actual book.  Seemed like a plan either way as I saw it  :)

So the first book they chose, since I've been a "member" of the club was:  Christopher Moore's book Lamb.  It's a book about Jesus' life birth to 30ish as told by Levi, who is called Biff, Jesus' fictional best buddy.  Again, I'm not a reader and the thought of a religious book with a fictional character didn't really seem like it would be my genre, but this book is HILARIOUS!  It's 450ish pages and I just tore through the thing like it was my job!  It's super funny with some serious and sad parts, but overall just a great read.  It's not a religious book in any sence other than it does make you think a lot about Jesus' teachings while on Earth and how his teachings are still very relevant, practical and true in everyday life today.  I really liked it and would recommend it to anyone who ca take a little humor with a religious tone added! 

Needless to say I finished my first book club book with a whole week to spare.  I'm actually excited to see what book we pick next.  Who knows, maybe you can teach an old(ish) dog new tricks!

No Dice...

So last weekend was an all together failure in many departments for me...

First, our Dr. did not agree that we should start any type of fertility drugs without going through the whole series of tests to make sure there is not an actual problem first.  Normally I would be on her side, but since we went through these same tests 3 years ago, and found nothing, I'm not really all that jacked up to do them again.  Some are super painful, some are really expensive and some are just annoying.  My opinion this time around is try the drugs, if we still aren't pregnant then clearly there is a bigger issue and we need to do some more exploring in my lady business.  But why beat me up for 2 months?  Anyway, my lack of a medical degree came into play and even after begging and some tears, I settled for a gauntlet of tests, the first of which is on Wednesday.  I will be having my second HSG, which if you've had one, you know feels very similar to having a giant needle stuck through both your ovaries.  Apparently it's really just a small tube with some dye in it so x-rays can be taken, but I would like to see the actual apparatus this time, b/c I'm fairly certain it must look more like a giant needle!  Then in two weeks I have to go in for a series of blood tests and the whole nine yards.  We shall see from there what other tortures they can come up with.  So now I am praying even harder to get pregnant just so they'll stop beating up my girlie parts!

Second, Graham came down with some terrible diarrhea this past weekend and pretty much shot our whole potty training progress to hell.  He had gone 2, almost 3 days without an accident when this started and it all just went out the window.  We had to revert back to Pull-Ups out of sheer lack of underwear and the fact that we were at Tim's Aunt's house... not really cool to have your kid pooping on everything at the relatives!  So we are finally over our bug, but the potty training is slow going again today.  Lots of accidents and not wanting to go, ugg! 

And third, due to all this lovely disappointment, my diet was totally sabotaged over the weekend.  We were traveling and I was already upset and I just gave in  :(  It's not like I gained 10 lbs overnight, but it was more that I totally lost my will-power.  I suppose, as with almost everything in life, there are going to be setbacks, but this weekend was a giant step in the wrong direction in oh so many ways.  But today started a new week and tomorrow will be a new day, so I guess I'm just going to take each thing one day at a time!

Keep Your Fingers Crossed!

As most of you know, our family is a little challenged when it comes to making babies... it's not that we can't have them, we obviously have Graham and as far as I'm concerned he's perfect in every way, it's just that it takes us about a hundred years to actually conceive a baby.  Why you ask?  Who in the hell knows!  If you have any suggestions you'd like to throw out there, please let me know.  I'm up for some new ones, because the same old 'ovulation troubles,' 'not enough sperm,' ' having to have sex while standing on your head to be in the right position' have all been thoroughly tested and ruled out. 

According to medical knowledge as it stands today, we should be able to make a baby in any given month, yet this miraculous occurence has yet to happen and now another nine months of my life has gone by.  That's nine months of peeing on sticks, forcing the ever so endearing "wanna try to have a baby" sex, which we all know is great, and nine whole months of WAITING for that little pink line that never appears.  So add that to the 18 months it took us to get pregnant with Graham and I could have 4 kids by now... well maybe not, but 2 at least!

Enough of that, the point is that this Friday is "D-Day" in baby world for me.  We have a fertility appointment at 1:45 and I will either find out I am already pregnant, which would totally be my luck now that I've waited for 3 months for this appointment, or I will find out what my next steps are towards actually conceiving another child before I'm 40!  Either way I'm hoping for big things... so keep your fingers crossed, maybe say a little prayer or throw an extra Hail Mary my way because as things seems to roll in my life, I'm going to need it!

One last story on this note... we have been saying night-time prayers with Graham now that we feel he is old enough to somewhat understand.  So we were praying on Saturday night and he asked me who I pray for and I told him I pray for him and our family and that hopefully someday he will have a brother or sister to play with.  When we went to church on Sunday I told Graham to remember to pray to baby Jesus, because like Ricky Bobby from Talladega Nights, we must pray to "baby" Jesus.  Anyway, he told me he did and I asked what he prayed for.  He said he asked baby Jesus if he could have a baby brother or sister to play with.  I asked what baby Jesus said, he told me "baby Jesus said to give me a baby sister right now... I want to play with it!"  Not totally sure that we're quite there on grasping the idea of praying or even what a baby brother/ sister really is, but I guess it's the effort that counts  :)