Going, going and going some more

I am happy to report, knock on wood, that Graham has been 90% successful in potty training these past 2 weeks.  His Pull-Up has even managed to stay dry through naps and almost every night.  Of course he has been waking up super early telling me he has to go potty, but hey, I'll forfeit an extra hour of sleep if it means we are closer to being free from diapers and Pull-Ups!  So I say 90% potty trained because we are still battling going #2  :(  It can and has been done, once, but on a regular basis, not so much. 

Potty training in the Ahlers household was accomplished thanks to the ever wonderful movie, CARS.  We have a Cars potty seat, Cars stickers and matching Cars fruit snacks for successful trips to the potty, we have brand new Cars underpants, Cars Pull-Ups for at night, we even have flushable Cars wipes for the glorious occasion when going #2 actually takes place on the potty.  You would think all these wonderful Cars things would be enough to make the kid go #2, but NO SIR... Graham is not having any part of going #2 on the potty.  So instead, because he wouldn't dare poop in his Cars underwear, Graham has just stopped going, all together???  I'm guessing that's not good.  Every 3rd day now I have resorted to giving him a 1/2 TBSP of Milk of Magnesia to make him go... and then the process begins!  

Graham knows enough to tell me when he thinks he has to go #2, or "poopers" as we like to call it at our house.  So once he drinks his Milk of Magnesia, it's off to the races.  About every 10 mins or so he "thinks" he has to go, so we run to the bathroom and sit on the potty.  And we sit, and sit, and sit, and sit... NOTHING!  We sign songs, read books, tell stories, I even considered borrowing a portable DVD player just for pure lack of other entertainment ideas.  Still, nothing ever happens.  On Wednesday I counted, we sat on the potty 27 times, 27!  Still no poopers.  The process is so painstakingly time-consuming that neither of us has the patience for daily recurrences.  Eventually Graham sneaks away from me, usually when I finally give in and take a potty break for myself, and then mysteriously there is an accident in our underwear.  This of course results in crying because we have to take his favorite Mater underwear off to wash them, dram, drama, drama. 

In hopes to entice a little potty pooping, we went to Target last Thursday and bought 3 new Cars toys.  All 3 are sitting on the bathroom counter and if he goes poopers on the potty he can open one.  Still not doing it!  There is lots of talk, but no action.  Sigh... what can you do?  90% is better than nothing  :)

Out of Control

If you know me, you know that I am a complete control freak and yet, somehow I justify this ridiculous behavior with the fact the I can ADMIT  full out that I am a control freak.  I don't know if it's because I am particular about certain things or maybe just overly opinionated or if it's because I like organization, but I seem to control or attempt to control the majority of things in my life. 

Since I do most of the shopping I tend to control.  What we eat, what we wear, what products we use, it all comes out of my budget, so while I don't make the money in our family, I pretty much control how our disposable funds get spent.  Then there is our house, which I like to be picked up and fairly clean, more control, and Graham, whom I am trying to raise and teach good manners etc, even more control.  I also like to lead, so VBS director or MOPS steering team, more and more control. 

Feeling in control of the things in my life soothes me.  It makes me feel at ease, while feeling out of control drives me nuts and literally stresses me out... or it did until this month.  June was kind of a whirlwind month in the Ahlers household.  Between Tim and I we had commitments nearly every night of the week and it seemed our weekends were jam packed with social activities.  This scene is fairly common for us, but add all that to still trying to get pregnant, Graham entering his terrible 2 phase and VBS, my sence of control totally flew out the window. 

In a near melt down state last week, I finally just gave up and you know what?  It was the best feeling EVER!  I sat down for the first time in a really long time and earnestly prayed for God to control my life.  To just take over because I was at my wits end.  I will admit while I have been incessantly praying lately...  for another pregnancy, for Graham's behavior to improve, for all my friends/ family going through rough times, I haven't really been letting God take control of MY life.  I have been asking that He take control of everyone else's life, yet I found myself mostly bitter and upset with Him and his timing of our second baby.  I was controlling everything in my power, meds, timing sex, eating healthy, exercising, you name it, I controled it in hopes to get pregnant and still, nothing was happening.

During my prayer I realized my life is already in control, it's in God's control.  What I need to do is let go and let life take it's course.  Maybe we still won't get pregnant, and maybe Graham will continue to act naughty, but it's out of my control.  I just need to relax and enjoy all the wonderful parts of life that have already been given to me and if that means I'm flying by the seat of my pants, then so be it.  In the end things have a way of working themselves out, I just need to figure out how to let it happen!

Eeeee, It's a Bug Mommy

In the past few weeks Graham has found this new 'interest' in bugs.  At first I thought, oh all boys like bugs, it's probably just a boy thing.  But as time went on, I realized Graham does not actually Graham like the bugs.  Instead there is he "Pollyanna" like shriek and then pointing out the spider, fly, butterfly or if he can't think of a name just 'bug.' It's not like we want to catch it or look at it... really we just want momma to come get it out-of-the-way of what we're doing.  It's gotten to the point that we can't do much of anything in the yard because every 3 seconds there is a new insect in his field of vision. 

Now I am not much of a bug person, but I am also not afraid of bugs nor do I run and get daddy when one needs to be removed from the house.  So in hopes to move on from having to point out every bug ever, because let's face it we spend a lot of time outside and that is where bugs live, I have tried picking them up to re-enforce that not all bugs bite and showing Graham how cool it is to watch them run around etc.  Yeah, no dice!  Graham gets completely freaked that the bugs are going to bite mommy and it all goes down hill.  So I tried  jar, but then all he wanted to do was thow the bug outside, so that was pretty pointless. 

I also tried having Tim talk to him about how bugs are not scary etc, but some how all that got me was now we have to keep the sliding door shut to the screened in porch because bugs might get in the house.  Err, aren't little boys supposed to like bugs?  How can Graham go from tackling the little boy next door to shreeking like a Pollyanna because a bug got on him when he landed in the grass?

Needing a Little Girl Time

In the past month something in Graham has snapped.  The kid has been out of control naughty!  Not just not listening, but doing actual naughty things like breaking stuff, talking back, screaming NO, and pushing, fighting, hitting... You name it, he's tried in the last 4 weeks.  I was about at my wits end with the kid. 

I had stopped taking him to playdates for fear that he'd just bully the other kids and spend the majority of the date in timeout.  We haven't brought him to church because I'm afraid to leave him in the nursery and let's be honest he's not going to behave sitting in church.  So does this mean that Graham and I are going to be completely homebound this summer until he straightens up?  I think I might need to start looking for a job outside the home  :)

Anyway, I wanted to give it one last shot before I packed 'us' in for the summer.  I had been talking with Leah and Sarah for sometime about doing a playdate, and since I figured this would be our last hoorah, it would be nice to catch up with the gals.  I had expectations of the usual: kids come over, Graham is super excited to see them, we go down stairs to start playing with toys and... the meltdowns begin.  The other kids aren't allowed to touch any of Graham's toys, he screams and takes away anything they touch, then the tears, I could go on, but I'm sure you're envisioning the awesomeness already.  But today was surprisingly different. 

Graham was by no means and angel, he's still 2 and is very strong willed, but he managed to get through nearly 2 hours of playing without having to be in timeout once and with only having to have a couple sharp reminders about being nice and sharing.  It may not seem like a victory to the average Joe, as this is what most playdates should look like, but I was astounded.  I kept telling Leah and Sarah over and over again about how I can't believe there hadn't been any fighting.  I'm sure the majority had to do with the fact the both Leah and Sarah's kids are very well-behaved and have very good, I'd go as far as saying advanced manners for their age.  But someone also mentioned maybe it's the pretty even ratio of boys to girls and that got me thinking.

Leah brought Belle and Johny and Sarah brought Julia and Hannah, 2 boys and 3 girls.  Was that really the difference?  After everyone left I sat down and starting thinking and I honestly can't put a date to the last time we had a playdate with girls, especially more girls than boys.  Every playdate we've been on in the last 6 months has had almost all little boys ages 3 to 1 and honestly the outright naughtiness of the little boys is enough to drive  any mom to the loony bin.  But today, the kids played quieter and more nicely/ gently.  There wasn't has much rough-housing, and therefore less bumps and bruises to cry over.  Ah, it was just so nice  :)   

My thought process before was always 'well Graham is a little boy and we have boy toys, so I'm sure he'd love another little boy to play with.'  But maybe the macho, competitive, beat 'em up, typical guy stigma really starts at birth and putting too many little bottles of testosterone in the same confined space is just asking for aggressive behavior.  So no offense to my mom friends with boys, we will still make dates and let the boys 'duke it out,' but I am somewhat excited to test my theory... do little boys sometimes just need some girl time?

Just a Quick Trip to Chicago

Tim and I decided, sort of last-minute, it might be fun to take Graham to a Cubs game this summer.  We figured he was probably old enough to sit through at least most of the game and since he recognises the Cubs on TV and knows they are playing baseball, eh, he might somewhat understand what was going on.  So we started looking for afternoon, 1:00, games during the week, as to avoid some of the chaos of a weekend game.  We found we had like 5 dates to choose from.  We opted for last Wednesday thinking it may not be quite as busy before school gets out etc.  What we didn't factor in was the chance that it could still be 40 below in May, which it was, nice!      

Oh well, even with the cold temps and drizzle, Graham absolutely loved going to the game.  As soon as he woke up he started jumping around singing "we are going to see the Cubbies, we are going to see the Cubbies!'  We got an official 'First time to a Cubs Game' certificate and ballpark hotdogs and the whole nine yards.  Graham sat pretty still throughout the whole game and with the exception of him asking "what is happening now, mommy?" about 300 times, he was a really good boy!  Tim, of course had to get an official score book and keep track of all the pitches and batters etc.  Ah, boys and their baseball.  All and all it was a great time... could have used a little more sun and a warm breeze, but a good time  :)   

[caption id="attachment_346" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Daddy and Graham all bundled up and ready for the first pitch."][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_347" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Go Cubbies!"][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_348" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Down by the Field after the Game."][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_349" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Cubs Win, Cubs Win!"][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_350" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Can You Say Cheese?"][/caption]

 

 We spent the night in Chicago and had dinner and dessert with college friends.  The next morning daddy showed Graham how to ready all about the Cubs game in the newspaper.  What nerds my boys can be!   

[caption id="attachment_351" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="See, those are the Cubbies..."][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_352" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Graham, of course, wanted to read about his own Cubbies :)"][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_353" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="The Nerds!"][/caption]

 Then we went to breakfast at Eggcellence, the best breakfast place I have ever been to, YUM, YUM!  

[caption id="attachment_354" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Daddy and Graham after some yummy pancakes."][/caption]

 

   

[caption id="attachment_356" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Mommy and Graham filled to the brim."][/caption]

It as raining on Thursday morning, so instead of the trip to the Zoo, we went to Navy Pier for some Children's Museum action.  What a cool museum!  We could have spent 3 days playing, but Graham was all tuckered out after a few hours of fierce playing, so it was time to head home.  What a great little get away to forget about all the stress home life sometimes entails and just relax and have fun for a while.  Can't wait to do it again soon!

  

[caption id="attachment_357" align="aligncenter" width="200" caption="Graham and Mommy building a 'deck' or a house!"][/caption]

 

   

[caption id="attachment_359" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Playin with the boats"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_361" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Daddy was trying to help, but Graham insisted he knew better... surprising!"][/caption]

  

Still on the Potty Training Attack

Yes, we are still working on potty training... working being the key word.  I certainly wouldn't say we are "trained" but at least I feel things moving back in the right direction.  If you are getting to the "potty training" stage with your little boy, here are some things I have found helpful:

1.  This is the most wonderfully helpful potty training blog I have ever read.  It's sweet and to the point, yet seems to be working wonderfully.  http://toilettraining4toddlers.blogspot.com/

2.  Go straight to "big boy" training underwear.  Gerber makes some great ones!  Pull-Ups are too confusing for toddlers, too much like a diaper and no 'consequence' for having an accident. 



3.  Elmo's Potty Time DVD!  Graham watches this at least 10 times a day and is really learning from it. 



3.  Some great potty training books to read while 'waiting' to go potty.  Here are some of our favorites:





4.  Stickers!  Make a chart or let them decorate their potty seat, but stickers are key to the training process.



5.  M&Ms!  Don't know why, but they seem to work every time.

So those would be my grand suggestions, now let's just keep our fingers crossed that we can stay "trained" for some amount of time without a relapse  :)

Music with Nancy

Last summer I signed Graham up for a music class called "Music with Nancy."  It's a toddler class offered through the Coralville Rec Center and it's fairly inexpensive so I figure if Graham didn't like it, no biggy.  Initially Graham would just sit on my lap during class, he never participated, yet as soon as we'd get in the car to head home he'd start blabbing on and on about Miss Nancy this and Miss Nancy that.  

After the summer session I debated whether or not to sign Graham up for any more classes, but I assumed since Graham talks about Miss Nancy all week and since he repeats all the things she does in class at home that he must like it, even though he doesn't really seem to be engaged during class.  So I signed up for 3 fall classes and then this spring 2 more classes.  

I am happy to report that after 6 months of Music with Nancy, Graham is finally starting to get the drift  :)  Just in the last 3 weeks Graham has started participating and engaging with the other kids in class.  Here are some of Graham's favorite parts of music class: 

[caption id="attachment_270" align="aligncenter" width="376" caption="Shake, shake, shake the parachute"][/caption]

 

Getting an Instrument

See Mom, this is how you play it!

Shaking his sillies out

 

  

 

 

Going to Watch the Hawkeyes Play "Down, Set, Hut"

Last Saturday was Iowa's Spring Football Game  (Go Hawks and bring on the football season!)  Since it's free to the public, we thought what better chance for Graham to get to "go" to a Hawkeye football game?  Apparently this is what every parent in the Iowa City area thought because there were loads of kids there including 5 families we hang out with regularly.  Graham was in HEAVEN!  He got to see the Hawkeyes and Herky (or Turkey as Graham insists on calling him) and all his little buddies were there.  The weather was gorgeous, but the "game" or scrimmage left a little to be desired.  Either way, the kids had a blast, the adults chatted and everyone had a great afternoon filled with snacks, football and fun!  How we managed to overlook this tailgating opportunity this year is a mystery.  Next year we for sure throwing a tailgate for this bad boy!  

[caption id="attachment_281" align="aligncenter" width="376" caption="Graham figured it was safe to let Daddy give "Turkey" a high five, but he wanted no part of it :)"]

 

[/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_282" align="alignleft" width="197" caption="The snacks mommy brought were a big hit!"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_284" align="alignright" width="197" caption="Kinda hard to look up into the sun Dad, but you get the drift."][/caption]

Potty Training Update

As it seems to go with most things in my life, just when I thought we were SOOOO close to being potty trained, Graham decided otherwise  :(   In the past 2 weeks Graham has completely regressed on the potty training front, as if he somehow knew Lent was ending or something.  Around the last week of March Graham got another "stomach bug" we'll call it forcing us to go back to using diapers for a couple of days.  Ever since then, the kid refuses to go #2 on the potty... just WON"T do it.  On Thursday we sat on the potty for literally an hour reading books and singing songs etc and the minute I gave up and put his underwear on, he pooped!  Really, give Momma a break!

I've tried stickers and candy, bribes and toys, jumping up and down, singing praising songs, I'm all out of ideas to get Graham pumped about going potty again.  And with each day I get more frustrated because I know he knows enough to tell me when he has to go, he just won't.  I'm lucky if he tells me when he has to pee or "twinkle" as he calls it.  How does this happen?  Graham went from telling me all the time, to honestly only telling me when he wants to get out of doing something else, like riding in the grocery cart, then he has to go potty or eating the rest of his lunch, then he magically has to go.  So how do I get back on the band wagon?

I thought about just giving up for a while and trying again closer to when he is 2 1/2, but I just feel like he is so close, why give up now?  So my only other thought is to try a new potty.  I was totally against buying one of the little potties that sit on the floor because let's be realistic, I have enough crap to clean up without adding another potty.  But in the hopes that Graham will like the independence of being able to "do it myself" I think  am going to break down and buy one, along with an "Elmo Goes Potty" DVD.  I know, I know... I also feel like this is a step in the wrong direction, but something's got to give because we are making no progress in the Ahlers' potty training department and Momma is getting a little sick of the ever-increasing laundry situation!  Here's to putting all my egg's in Elmo's basket... work your magic you little red furry thing!

New Do

In honor of this week's forecast being nice and warm we got Graham's hair cut.  Usually I just have them trim it up a little and cut around his ears, but this time I decided to go with the official "little boy's hair cut." 

[caption id="attachment_168" align="aligncenter" width="470" caption="Uh Oh, mom caught be in the tub."][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_169" align="aligncenter" width="470" caption="Taking a bath after our hair cut!"][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_171" align="aligncenter" width="470" caption="Say Cheese!"][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_170" align="aligncenter" width="470" caption="All spiffed up and ready for church."][/caption]

 

The hair stylist put gel in his hair and spiked it all up, but Graham didn't like it.  He said it looked scary, poor kid  :(  So she just made it look 'messy' and he thought that was way better.  "I like the messy," he kept saying.  She also gave him a sucker to which he yelled "Mom I didn't cry and I got candy"  about 10 times jumping up and down.  All and all, I think the hair cut was a success.  He looks so darn cute, it just doesn't look like Graham to me.  He look so grown up.  Time is flying by way too fast!

Moms Never Win!

Graham has been out to dinner about 97 million times since he has been born.  It's not really healthy, it's just the nature of how our family functions and I've learned to accept it.  By now I am pretty accustomed to the restaurant routine... We sit down, I immediately pick up the menu and pick something for Graham to eat.  This way when we order drinks,  and crayons of course, we can get his dinner started.  In the 30 seconds I am glancing at the menu Graham proceeds to do this: touch the ketchup, spill the salt, take all the sugar packets out, unwrap all the silverware and beat them on the table, spill the pepper, touch squirt the mustard and  mess with any other condiment left, thow the sugar packets on the floor... it's just ridiculous! 

No matter how many times we talk about manners or about not touching/ opening/ spilling everything on the table, it comes down to the fact that he's 2 and apparently this is just what he's going to do.  I can't stop it and trying just ruins the whole dinner experience. So last night was really no different.  We went to Red's Ale House in North Liberty.  We sat down and Graham began his usually screwing around and we ordered drinks and his meal.  No sooner did we order and Graham decided to touch the light bulb on the lamp in out booth... game over!  He burnt his poor little finger to a crisp and no matter what we gave him, he just kept screaming.  So my date night/ dinner out became getting our meal to go and all three of us eating it at Graham's Little Tikes table in the living room while watching Horton Hears a Who for the nine millionth time.  (It was the only way to make him stop wailing!) 

So after dinner we began talking about what we learned from this whole fiasco.  About how we shouldn't play around at the dinner table and never, never, never touch the lamp etc.  All he got was don't go near any lamps, which means he is now terrified of the lamp in his room.  Great, now we don't want to sleep in out room thanks to the scary lamp.  Moms never win, just write it down!

Re-Evaluating Priorities

With all this "baby crazy" going on in my life lately I feel maybe my priorities have gotten a bit skewed  :(  I began 2010 wanting to do some things for myself, as I felt I had spent almost all of the last 3 years doing things for Graham and Tim and work and never really taking time to myself.  But 2 months into 2010 and I am starting to think that maybe I've taken things a bit overboard.

I've taken some time this past week to do some "meditating" if you will, on my life and you know what I realized?  I already have the most perfect little boy anyone could ever ask for.  God has already blessed me just by giving me the opportunity to be a mom and even more, he has given me a wonderful husband who supports me so I can stay home to take can of him. 

I have spent so much time lately worrying about trying to get pregnant or why it is that I can't get pregnant again that I've almost forgotten what happens when you do get pregnant... you get to be a mom!  I am a mom and I really need to remember that.  Of course I know that I am a mom, I mean I'm still with Graham 24-7, but am I really remembering what it means to be a mom?  Like taking the time to laugh and play and hug, taking the time to teach and pray, taking the time to enjoy all that I have already been given!  It's unfortunate that sometimes you get so caught up with life and all it's struggles that you forget the important stuff.  So even if I'm only ever able to have one baby, I just need to remember: I am already the luckiest person just to have Graham and be a mom!

The Kid Must be Growing

Graham must be growing, either that or he has been taken over by aliens and is no longer my child.  This week Graham has been just a basket case.  He's totally fine one moment and then next he is falling apart and is completely inconsolable.  It usually starts with him not getting his way or being told "no" and ends with him hysterically bawling.  This fit lasted for over a half an hour on Wednesday.  Finally, after failing at all other attempts to make this stop, I gave up and put him down for a nap, at 10am!  (He usually naps about 1-3pm)

Again yesterday, we got home from Kidercise, where he actually listened and paid attention to the teacher for once, he wanted to sit in the front seat of the car.  I let him for a few minutes, but after touching every button, knob and light in the car and emptying the glove compartment I had had enough, so I said time to go in the house.  He lost it, completely freaked, to the point I told him he had to go get in his bed for a nap (10:10am), to which he usually cries even harder and screams "I no need a nap!"  Today he looked right at me, stopped crying and said "I go to bed myself mom," and he went upstairs and got in his bed.  He proceeded to take a 4 hour nap.  Don't get me wrong, this is fabulous for me, but it's just totally not normal.

On the positive side, Graham has actually started eating lately.  I know, I know all kids eat right?  Not my kid, he will go days on a slice of cheese and a couple crackers.  He's just been a horrible eater ever since we switched to solid foods, but this week, the kid is eating everything in sight.  He'll even tell me what he wants for lunch/ dinner.  Plus, even after a 4 hour nap, he will go to bed and stay put at night.  I expected a huge battle, but apparently he's just super tired because we tuck him and never hear a peep from him again... well until 6:45am when he begins trashing the house all over again  :)  So does he looks bigger to you?

Nice underoos huh?  :)