Snap Out of It

Have you ever been in one of those places in your life where being in a bad mood just becomes your state of being?  I feel like that is where my life is right now and I just can't seem to snap out of it.  A bunch of things... potty training, pregnancy woes, my diet and all the little stuff just came to a head last week and no matter what I do, I can't get past the "bad mood" feeling. 

The beautiful weather and spending some time in the fresh air this weekend did help, but now it's Monday and I'm back to feeling blue.  Generally speaking, I'd say I'm a rather 'unemotional' person... or at least Tim thinks so.  I'm near last to cry at a sad movie or gush over happy/ sad news.  I rarely breakdown after a bad day or a bad fight and even when I do, I seem to be super quick to snap back.  I don't seem to hold grudges and can't find it in me to stay mad for very long, so why am I so 'stuck' in this bad mood and how do I get past it?

So far the failed plans have been:

• cry it out- no luck


• take out my frustration at the gym- apparently I'm not in good enough shape for this one


• talk to Tim- eh, he tried to understand, but he just wanted to enjoy his time away from work, don't blame him


• sleep- usually a good nap/ sleeping in brings me around, but I tried both and no dice


• watching the beautiful, half-naked men build my deck- OK helped a little  :)

Apparently I am just going to have to wait it out, unless someone has a sure-fire cure to SNAP OUT OF IT.

Seriously, What Does a Girl Need to Do...

So I get it, I have Crohn's Disease, have for 11+ years now!  Which, that being said, means that on any given day, for no apparent reason at all, my stomach/ ab area is going to swell and make me look slightly pregnant.  I get that, accept it and have moved on... until recently! 

I diet and watch what I eat, I work out 5-6 days a week, 5-6 freakin' days, I'd say that's a decent work out effort wouldn't you?  But in the last 2.5 months I have been asked 6 times "if I am expecting" or "when I am due" at the gym.  Really people, 6 times?  I haven't been asked 6 times in 11 years, even when I was pregnant!  :)  And usually when I am I asked, I try to find some sort of humor in the situation and just laugh it off, but when the question sparks 10 people in the locker room to immediately glare at my stomach... it's just too awkward!  I mean what do you say?  :)

Do you try to make the person asking feel better by making up some sort of excuse, because by now they are clearly embarrassed?  But why should I do that, they are the ass who asked you in the first place.   :)  Do you just ignore the comment all together like you didn't hear it?  Do you just laugh and say no and walk away?  After pondering the issue a bit, I truly believe the appropriate response is "F-Off" or at least in this case when I had just completed bodypump and ran 2.5 miles, but even I am not that brave.  So, I am just at a loss... how do you answer that question WHEN YOU ARE NOT PREGNANT? 

And really, why would you ever, ever, ever ask someone that question in the first place?  I mean just save yourself the trouble of looking like an ass, it's just embarrassing for everyone, including the poor, innocent by-standers in the room who want to crawl into a hole just to get away from the situation.  :)  I promise you, unless you are giving birth to a child in my presence or you have personally told me that you are expecting, I will never ask you "when you are due!"  Ahh, just shake your head and laugh... that's all anyone can do!  Hope my fabulously blessed life made you smile!  :)

* I almost forgot... on an upside, Graham actually told the gym daycare lady he had to go potty AND he went!  WooHoo, at least the trip wasn't a total loss!

No Dice...

So last weekend was an all together failure in many departments for me...

First, our Dr. did not agree that we should start any type of fertility drugs without going through the whole series of tests to make sure there is not an actual problem first.  Normally I would be on her side, but since we went through these same tests 3 years ago, and found nothing, I'm not really all that jacked up to do them again.  Some are super painful, some are really expensive and some are just annoying.  My opinion this time around is try the drugs, if we still aren't pregnant then clearly there is a bigger issue and we need to do some more exploring in my lady business.  But why beat me up for 2 months?  Anyway, my lack of a medical degree came into play and even after begging and some tears, I settled for a gauntlet of tests, the first of which is on Wednesday.  I will be having my second HSG, which if you've had one, you know feels very similar to having a giant needle stuck through both your ovaries.  Apparently it's really just a small tube with some dye in it so x-rays can be taken, but I would like to see the actual apparatus this time, b/c I'm fairly certain it must look more like a giant needle!  Then in two weeks I have to go in for a series of blood tests and the whole nine yards.  We shall see from there what other tortures they can come up with.  So now I am praying even harder to get pregnant just so they'll stop beating up my girlie parts!

Second, Graham came down with some terrible diarrhea this past weekend and pretty much shot our whole potty training progress to hell.  He had gone 2, almost 3 days without an accident when this started and it all just went out the window.  We had to revert back to Pull-Ups out of sheer lack of underwear and the fact that we were at Tim's Aunt's house... not really cool to have your kid pooping on everything at the relatives!  So we are finally over our bug, but the potty training is slow going again today.  Lots of accidents and not wanting to go, ugg! 

And third, due to all this lovely disappointment, my diet was totally sabotaged over the weekend.  We were traveling and I was already upset and I just gave in  :(  It's not like I gained 10 lbs overnight, but it was more that I totally lost my will-power.  I suppose, as with almost everything in life, there are going to be setbacks, but this weekend was a giant step in the wrong direction in oh so many ways.  But today started a new week and tomorrow will be a new day, so I guess I'm just going to take each thing one day at a time!

Oh Metabolism, Where have you gone?

So I am still working on my blog... resolution #1, check!  And because my life is still completely chaotic in January every year, I decided that any weight loss goals need not start until Feb. 1st.  Of course, that date totally snuck up on me, but here we go with resolution #2.

So over the past summer I was doing great with weight loss, wearing a bikini to the pool even.  But then there was Tim's Birthday, and Vacation, and Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, My Birthday, New Years and Graham's Birthday  :(  Needless to say I began to slack off in August and now I am looking at 12.2lbs I need to lose to get back to my goal weight.  I am a little disappointed because I really have changed my eating habits.  I rarely snack, I watch my portions, I drink tons of water everyday and I've even begun working out.  I've actually worked out more in the past 3 months than I have in the last 10 years.  But I guess it just proves that I am not the exception to the rule, but instead just like everyone else... my metabolism just isn't what it used to be.  Oh well, you can't win them all, so bring it on 12.2lbs because I'm ready to lose you!